He...

Te amo…

Didn’t she say I love you?
I rest my head, but my soul floats still. My heart lost track of emotions and time no longer indulged meaning. I can never understand why the scent still lingers in my head, why the touch of her hair is still felt on my cheek.

Didn’t she say I love you?
Words are beyond comprehension, numbness lies in so deep.

Didn’t she say I love you?
Someone tell me what she said; skip condolences, never mind the crushed spirit you see before you…someone tell me… Did those words lose essence? Did they stop being the words I long for?
Will her hands feel some other's chest.. Will her lips warm some other's cheek.. Will her looks dazzle some other's bones.. Will her touch belong to some other's shyness…

Didn’t she say I love you…
I don’t think I'm going to LA anymore.. I'm not sure that I really ever could.. Pass by her bedroom neighborhood and not knock on her door…

Didn’t she say I love you…

her diamonds...

She spilled her diamonds, and looked straight in the eyes framed in the small mirror. She took one sip from the once hot coffee; put on her sunglasses, and made her way away from the single-chaired table.
Short on time, she drew lines on the ground leading her towards him. Her high heels seemed to make the only sound in the crowded street. Only she felt a cool pure breeze in that hot summer day; her heart was confident, she wanted his embrace back.
A long tree shaded the doorbell; that seemed a bare beating heart. Her breath trembled as a minute passed by. Two minutes, five minutes. She turned around, diamonds piling up again.
Her head span as the noise of the street appeared, people's eyes wondered in her yellow face. She could only go back to that single-chaired table and watch love in the arms of passersby.
As her high heels gave her a shivering pain up her spine, she dragged herself to where she was an hour earlier; with no happy ending of her own.
The single-chaired table was occupied; only it had another chair added, he was sitting there waiting for her. A smile touched her heart as he grabbed her arms and said…
Never will you wait for a breeze to dry your diamonds…

I’ve been traveling on this road too long, just trying to find my way back home. But the old me is dead and gone.

Blessings of a struggling heart; people by her side seemed to fade like the northern lights. On a highway of unknown destinies her eyes met with another pair, her hand stretched through the window, and lingered through the winds of change.

Thoughts of a sober mind; up on a standing monotonous tree, they did what they had to do. Life evolved into a duty, those who obeyed grew like leaves till the day the yellow dullness filled their hearts; those who rebelled turned into seeds, disengaged from the mother tree and defined the new jazz.

Traces of bleeding feet; supposing the rain doesn’t wash away the passing time, he’ll keep on sitting waiting wishing. The corner of the street defined home, the wooden bench defined a not so comfy bed. A place and time through an abandoned window that missed her hand and the once daily flying kiss.

Clouds over the spotless humanity; wake up, drink your coffee, and through a screen of media listen to the evil deeds of a human hand through a sweet calm voice. Made for you to keep updates of the globe you never saw, cultures you never met. Only then the sweet voice marks the country that your mum named home, a wreck that deserved the sweat of your hands. Your eyes follow the voice, only till it’s time to switch off the TV and head to the stillness in front of another screen.

Scars mark the intangible soul; look forward, anticipate, do not expect, await, names come and go, grow for no reason, speak of no target, reach out into nothing, feel the waves and the soft sand beneath your feet, let your hair down, look up, smile back, move on.

towards the hundredth name..

'I dip my reed pen in the ink the way other people sigh or protest or pray. Then I set down words in a hand that's assured as my stride was when i was young.'

Amin Maalouf
Balthasar's Odyssey

محاولة

إذا أراد الفرد أن يرى شيئاً كما يريد فسيراه كما يريد، كم أتمنى تبني الجانب المضيء لهذا المبدأ الذي يقبع منتظراً مني أن أخرجه للحياة.
لن أخفي أن هذه العبارة لمعت في ذهني أول مرة بهدف إنتقاديّ بحت للنظرة الصارمة والمحافظة التي قد يلجأ لها البعض لتبرير منع الإبداع في مجتمع كمجتمعنا من الظهور. فعندما نريد أن نظهر الخطأ "بعينه" نبهّر حوله ونضيف الدراما في طرحه إلى أن نحيطه بالتفاهة فيصغر و يصغر حتى يتلاشى وجوده وتبقى ندبة تكفير المؤلف موسومة على جبينه. وأنهيت ملاحظتي بعبارة واحدة... الواحد مش ناقصه قمع أزود من اللي هو فيه عشان هيك طول عمرنا رح نضل متخلفين

لكنني اليوم مررت مرة أخرى على عبارتي –رغم أنني في العادة أدفن كلماتي ورائي- ورأيت نفسي أتخذها لمنحى آخر تماماً

إذا أراد الفرد أن يرى شيئا كما يريد فسيراه كما يريد، هل فعلاً سأرى نفسي سعيدة أو جميلة أو غنية أو كاتبة أو أو أو.. إذا أقنعت نفسي بذلك؟ حكي فاضي
نحن بنو آدم لن نقتنع أبدا بالإكتفاء، لو سافرت ورأيت كافة بقاع الأرض فسيمضي الوقت وتجد أنك لم تجد سعادة الإستقرار و ستندم، لو عملت ليلا نهارا لتشتري كل ما تشتهي ستجد أن عمرك مضى وأصبحت إسما يرتبط بالنقود ليس إلا، لو نفيت وقتك ترضي من حولك فستجد أن سعادتك لا ملامح لها ولا حتى طعم أو لون
لكن الأصعب من ذلك كله أن تنتظر..حتى يسمح لك الجميع أن تصمتهم وتعيش..و أن تتحمل عبء نفسك بنفسك، فأنت واثق أن الطريق لن يكون سهلاً.. كل ما تطلبه هو أن تفتح لك البوابة...فقد تجد ذلك المنظر الجميل الذي لا تعرف ملامحه لكنك تحلم بلقائه مع كل زيارة للهواء داخل أضلعك
إذا أراد الفرد أن يرى شيئا كما يريد فسيراه كما يريد... انتظر و خذ ما أُعطيت..الى أن يأتي يومك..انتظر..غداً يومٌ جديد

no comment pt.2: dreamz

Out of the blue, a spirit rose through the dark black night. And while the moon shone as bright as the yellow sun, the other road looked much greener. Confessions of a white heart bloomed into the colorful spring while the odds drowned away in the deep dark blue ocean. Hands hugged holding the red hot compassion. The faith that eyes will meet again in the purple haze of the sunset, kept guidance clear through the brown dusty storm.
Tears of joy shone in the hazel eyes, and slid softly on the shy pink cheeks, a smile drew lines of attraction in a beautiful pattern.
Keeping my song in your eyes will paint my path every night the moon stretches his hands through my window and peaks on my dreams. And then la vie en rouge will dominate our lives into the calm color of serenity.

when

I despise when people say they love living when they never experienced life
I despise when you can't touch and you live in a lie
I despise when a girl is reminded of what is missing in her life
I despise when guilt is born out of a planted seed in a soul
I despise when disorientation is a way of life
I despise when the given is prohibited and the ending is to burn
I despise when the layers of your soul don’t allow you to smile
I despise when people read this and think I talk about them
I despise when my path can be someone else's dream
I despise when I know life is nothing but phases that will vanish
I despise when am having a plate of just another human's life
I despise when the unexpected turns out to be the expected
I despise when I preserve an image of my name and the ones who follow
I despise when my opinion marks my face till the day I die
I despise when I follow a group or namely a cult
I despise categorization
I despise numbering
I despise generalization
I despise representation
I despise surnames
I despise hanging on
I despise death
I despise narrow minds
I… love safety and happiness…

batteries not included

Red anger yellow anger die anger blue
Green anger mellow anger strong anger flu

trekni...

If I happen to die before you do, celebrate knowing me for I will be happy looking upon a celebration made for me. Crack a bottle of champagne, raise your glass and call out my name. Even if you never drank before; don’t worry, I will take full responsibility of that sip when we're all doomed and on our way to hell.

I blame no one for the course of life but life itself, I blame no soul for the floating sorrow around the globe but sorrow itself, I blame no one for the tears I carry but feeling itself, I blame no one for the thoughts I bear in mind but blame itself.

Shall you live and let me die, I do not care. Shall the sun keep shining and the moon keep being sad, I will move on. But don’t dare judge me and what I say, for I will keep writing no matter where my words are buried.

I may not see the light, but my eyes are wide open. I may not speak but my inner sound screams. The night is darker than my hair, the breeze is cooler than my breath, the air is lighter than my spirit, the stars flash into my red eyes.
My strength will fade, life will break me, humanity will despise me, and I will crack that bottle to celebrate...me.

Quoted...

I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life

Too late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I can't find, oh the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way I feel
Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm
But these cuts I have they need love to help them heal